


Yeah, Okay, This Might As Well Be Happening

by GlitterFairy_21225



Series: Life is Strange. Watching it is Stranger.... Debatably. [5]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: ADHD, Alive Ben Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves Appreciation, Allison Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Asexual Luther Hargreeves, BAMF Allison, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Bisexual Vanya Hargreeves, Canon Incest, Characters watch the show, Diego Hargreeves is Bad at Feelings, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Good Sibling Allison Hargreeves, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Klaus Hargreeves has ADHD, Luther Hargreeves Has a Human Body, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, POV Multiple, Pansexual Klaus Hargreeves, Pre-Canon, Protective Allison Hargreeves, Protective Diego Hargreeves, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Teenagers, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Watching the Show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26417812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterFairy_21225/pseuds/GlitterFairy_21225
Summary: Klaus sighs so loudly that his brothers surprisingly stop their bickering, if only to glare at him. He's actually the one ignoring the others now, instead leaning back on the couch casually without any care for the strangeness of it all."Yeah, okay, this might as well be happening." He shrugs. Allison snorts and Ben rolls his eyes but the rest just look at him incredulous. As always, Klaus has the gall to say, "What? Are our lives not already so weird that we shouldn't be numb to all this? C'mon! Let's go watch a movie about our lives!""Tv show." Ben corrects."Close enough!" Klaus brushes him off by waving a middle finger in his direction.XXXHey! Ho! Watch the show! I'm so sorry, this is a watching the show fic.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Everyone, Allison Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Everyone, Klaus Hargreeves & Everyone, Luther Hargreeves & Everyone, Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone, Vanya Hargreeves & Everyone
Series: Life is Strange. Watching it is Stranger.... Debatably. [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1686676
Comments: 144
Kudos: 507





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hola! Welcome to my long awaited (to people who read my Ready or Not fic) Umbrella Academy Watching the Show! For those of you who are new to my series, hi! I'm good at finishing watching the movie fics! And now I'm trying a show. I realize I could probably focus my talents on a fandom that doesn't already have loads of WTS fics, but... Shut up.
> 
> I've wanted to write this since season one, the only thing is that I know how to now. I've literally finished three movies I can do this!

**Klaus's POV**

Klaus is pretty used to waking up in weird places at this point. And yeah, he's like seventeen. And yeah, this is the first time he's woken up in a family room he's... pretty sure isn't a part of the mansion. And yeah, he doesn't know why these other assholes are here but... Oh well. Whatever. He can accept weird sleep shit.

His 'family', not so much. "What the actual fuck!?"

"Language!" Gotta love fucking Luther and his priorities.

"That's what you're worried bout right now?" Diego says, teeth gritting. "Some lead-"

"Where are we?!" Allison butts in the way she always does when Thing One and Thing Two's arguments get on her nerves. It's occasionally followed by a rumor if they don't listen, but for now they get back to their super important mission!

"Did we get kidnapped?" Ben asks in concern. "I've never seen this room back home before."

"Really? Huh, I hadn't noticed." Klaus murmurs. The others make no signs that they've even heard him.

"Who!?" Luther demands. "Have one of our enemies escaped prison!?"

"Whoever it is, they haven't thought this through. We're not in chains or anything." Allison points out. Point for his sis, though that's neither here nor there if the room is all the cage they need. 

Diego scoffs. "Probably didn't bother. He knew I could get out of any bondage anyway! Don't know why he even tried this shit, but when I'm done with him he won't see up from down!"

"It could be a girl." Allison murmurs.

"What if he- or she- hears you!" Luther says through gritted teeth.

"Hey dickwads!" Klaus interrupts them, and he politely ignores the way his brothers groan. "Is no one gonna talk about the lack of doors or are your dick measuring contests the only things on your minds?"

"Klaus!" Luther scolds.

".... Can I use that one day?" Allison says with a half smile.

"Absolutely."

Both Diego and Luther are glaring at him, and of course it takes Benny Boo to make them see as much sense as he does. "Door!"

"Right, uh...." Luther breaks off from the group to trace his hands on the wall as though looking for one. Or maybe a secret door, because he's a puppy but not a dumb puppy. Secret door... Maybe like in a bookshelf or something. That would be like from a movie or something. But wait, there are no bookshelves around... Aw, it's gonna be a normal secret door isn't it?

"I got this." Diego takes out a knife to- Fuck if Klaus knows, slash at the wall? 

"No, I got this!" Luther yells, punching at it instead. A part of it falls and- oh holy shit. 

"What is that!?" Allison shrieks, pulling Luther back away from the glowing blue shit bursting from the hole. 

Before anything there's a crackling sound. "Step away!" They all turn to see another boy looking at the blue hole with wide eyes and OH HOLY FUCKING CHRIST-

"Five!?" Oh, the plot is thickening by the minute!

"It takes you what? Three minutes before dismantling everything!" Yeah, it's him. It's definitely him. He's older, the same age as them of course. But it's Five. The band is finally back together. 

"Five?" A timid voice says. Aww, Little Vanya is here. He didn't even notice. She's so cute.

Their long lost brother's eyes soften looking at their baby sister, but before he can respond Luther starts talking again. "Where have you been!?"

Five sighs, looking so tired that Klaus sort of just wants to take him to a super mall to get massages from the community chairs. And maybe catch up and stuff. "The future."

"Am I still hot?" Is Klaus's immediate reaction even as the rest stare at Five in awe.

"Dad told you not to time travel!" Luther whines.

"Yeah, yeah, I got that." Five glares. "The future is shit anyways. When we get home I'll take all the 'told you so's Dad has prepared for me, but for now we have other business to get down to."

"What?" Diego demands. 

"I want to change the future, and I know how." Five says ominously. He teleports over to the tv and begins fiddling with it like he would with things he'd get curious about growing up. "I've been trying to go home for the past four years. Only now did I finally manage to tap into time itself. There was a very... strange girl I met there. We made a little deal."

"And that was?" Diego prompts, lacking in patience as always.

"I'd get a free ride back to you guys, but only if we complete a task to... Well, fix our bullshit."

Klaus bursts out laughing.

Luther fixes him yet another glare and straightens his shoulders, effectively puffing put his chest. "Well that's good. I've been saying for awhile now that we need to learn to work better as team, but no one listens to me. This might actually be good." 

"Yeah big guy, getting kidnapped by the brother we haven’t seen in years is exactly the wake up call we all needed." Diego says sarcastically.

Luther turns to face D as he turns bright red, and it looks like they're about to go at it again, but Vanya takes the moment to hug her second favorite brother, after Klaus of course. Surprisingly, Luther notices this and looks at them perplexed.

"Wait, why would bring Vanya here? She's not on the team and it could be dangerous!" Luther says. Vanya lets go of him as Five focuses on Luther.

"Because I want to see my sister again." He snaps. "It's nothing dangerous, she'll be fine."

"Clearly all this time stuff is dangerous!" Luther argues. "And why didn't you get Dad?"

The way Five flinches is all Klaus needs to know the answer, but Luther either doesn't see it or, more likely, he doesn't get it.

"It's fine, Vanya will just stay on the sidelines like when we were starting our missions." Diego says, like he wants to see what Luther will say about it, not in the soothing way Allison probably would have said it. "We don't even know what the fucking thing it is we're supposed to do."

"Language!" Luther spits.

"Priorities!" Klaus rolls his eyes.

"Look, all we have to do is watch a tv show about our lives and do the exact opposite and the end of the world will be prevented!" 

All heads snap to Five.

"What the heck!?" Luther comes close to cursing for the first time.

"The end of the world?" Allison repeats.

"Okay, that is the kind of thing you start with." Diego says angrily. 

"Blah blah blah! Can we start already!?" Five says, impatience radiating off of him and- Christ, why are all of his brothers basically the same person more or less? He's missed Five, truly, but the fights being limited to two brothers who think they know everything in the world has been good on everyone's mental health.

"Wait, I think we should discuss this first." Luther says all diplomatic-sounding.

Klaus sighs so loudly that his brothers surprisingly stop their bickering, if only to glare at him. He's actually the one ignoring the others now, instead leaning back on the couch casually without any care for the strangeness of it all.

"Yeah, okay, this might as well be happening." He shrugs. Allison snorts and Ben rolls his eyes but the rest just look at him incredulous. As always, Klaus has the gall to say, "What? Are our lives not already so weird that we shouldn't be numb to all this? C'mon! Let's go watch a movie about our lives!"

"Tv show." Ben corrects.

"Close enough!" Klaus brushes him off by waving a middle finger in his direction.

Diego sighs even louder than Klaus did. "You know what, fine. The sooner this is done, the sooner I don't have to be here."

Klaus winks at him. "Love you too, Dee-Dee." 

"I still have a knife."

The rest walk to the couches, and if both Vanya stops for another Five hug and Allison joins in, how can Klaus resist that basic invitation for him? Family hugs are so rare after all. And this is nice.

"Guys, Five jumped over here thirty seconds ago." Ben says. They pull away and see all their brothers already there. It would appear he has. 

Their reality show starts with a pair of straight people.

And they're in a swim class, and Klaus is bored, and- Oh, holy shit, she was not pregnant before she got into that pool. "Wait, is this like that thing from one of those tabloids about girls getting pregnant from swimming in pools where boys got dirty earlier? But this is so fast moving-"

"Is this one of our mothers?" Allison gasps as they watch her go through the birthing process.

"Yeah, that makes more sense."

"They're speaking Russian." Five notes. "It's Vanya's."

Vanya looks at the screen in awe. He sees the others send Vanya jealous looks, probably wondering what their fake mothers were like.

Klaus used to wonder that too, and he asked Dad about it once and got told that his mother was a German woman who was driving her actual children but got startled by the sudden pregnancy, crashed the car, and killed the kids before dying in his childbirth. That was a nice father-son story time bonding they had that day.

 **"On the twelfth hour of the first day of October 1989, 43 women around the world gave birth-"** "Forty three!?" **"This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women were pregnant before the day began."**

"I don't understand. There are forty three of us?" Allison says in confusion. "What happened to the others? They must be like us!" 

"Maybe they're like Vanya." Ben offers.

"All of them?" Five scoffs, but then shakes his head. "If they're important to the apocalypse, it will come up. For now can we keep watching, please?"

"Fine." Klaus rolls his eyes at how boring his brother can be, but then his back straightens as he sees who's being introduced.

**"Extraordinary."**

.... That's just poorly worded.

So he offers her money, the amount of children he found is shown (which he feels should have been preceded by the text 'for some reason') on screen as a song plays, which of course has Klaus tapping his foot of course, even if the sight of nearly identical nannies strollers carrying baby him and his baby siblings across the screen one by one fills him with dread.

Okay, he can't see baby him or baby sibs, and he's really regretting not savoring every minute with baby Vanya, but Klaus just knows they're adorable. Yes, they are! Yes, they are!

Dad leads them to their jail cells- Klaus means loving home, and the music suddenly cuts off with the text reading 'today'. Oh great, so this shit show is just about their fucked up family and not about cute babies. Color him disappointed.

Someone walks to a stand and opens a guitar- no violin case and begins playing. It's not the fun song from earlier, but it is very, very pleasing on the ears.

"Phantom of the Opera!" Vanya pipes suddenly, causing them to look at her. She looks down at her lap and doesn't elaborate. Rude.

Someone who's clock is on fucking military time wakes up with a grunt, scratching his ass as he leaves, causing everyone to gag. Christ on a cracker, this bitch is big, hardly fitting in to his already cramped looking house. Aw, he gardens. Wait, is he an astronaut?

**'Number One "Luther"'**

"Luther!?" 

Huh, he got on the moon like he always wanted. Good for him but- "Wow, you get big!" 

"This said 'today'." Allison says, looking at Five for answers.

He just shrugs. "It probably means 'today' in the context of the show. My guess is this show takes place in 2019, when the apocalypse is set to occur. So 'today' is actually referring to the future."

Klaus sighs, hating this already. So instead he turns to his brother. "So you have an interest in gardening?"

Ooh, the musics kicking up, he likes it! A family gets robbed, and- Batman? No, it's Diego! Klaus cheers him on "Go Diego go!"

Diego smiles, but it falls as Luther scoffs. "Sloppy form."

"Slobby foam." Klaus mocks in a barbarian voice.

A woman in drop dead dress walks on a red carpet in front of paparazzi, and Klaus doesn't need a bunch of words to tell him who this is. He and Allison share an excited grin.

Wow, whoever this musician is, she is tal-en-ted. Emphasis on the ted.

Aw, but it's sad now. And just when he appears. Looking even more gorgeous than Future Allison, somehow. But look he has friends. **"See you soon, Klaus. Stay sober!"**

Klaus scoffs. Yeah, okay. Sobered? More like so bored! He doesn't say this out loud and ignores the mix of sad and disappointed looks his future buys him.

Anyways Luther gets a transmission, Diego starts watching the tv of the distressed family he just saved, Allison begins getting swarmed by some very rude reporters talking about a funeral.

"Funeral!?"

Ugh. Funerals. It's always the most awkward for one guy who can see ghosts. Wait- it's not someone he gives a shit about, is it?

His future self gets drugs, and it's a different dealer than the one he has now, he guesses that means he has even more living friends, he skips away.

Oh shit! Is it his funeral? Oh no! Wow that is a powerful resuscitation! Compliments to the music. And another friend! 

"I told you I was a likable person." He says to Diego in victory. 

And Diego looks absolutely horrified by Klaus being the sociable one in the future when his future self shows no signs of having any pals to punch baddies with. In fact, they all look pretty scared, nauseous even. And like, is Klaus being popular so crazy?

Allison wraps her arms around him in a hug he gladly returns. Two hugs in one day, he guesses it is a special occasion but okay.

**"-most eccentric and reclusive billionaire."**

"WHAT!?" They all say in shock. But Dad's a vampire!

Luther looks close to tears, but everyone is flabbergasted. Everyone except Five. Klaus decides against putting him on the spot and at Number One's mercy. 

The violinist plays her last few notes, to a criminally under attended audience... Oh wait, no, it's just empty, before standing up. Oh shit, that's Vanya. Aw, she's so cute all grown up.

"Damn, Vanya." Klaus says impressed. His sister blushes under the praise.

"Are you people surprised!?" Five demands. He looks around at their faces and scoffs in disbelief. "What other violin players do you know!?" No one answers. Five sighs and looks at their sister. "You were great, Vanya. I'm glad you're still playing."

Vanya beams under the praise.

Their sister is walking down the streets. "You're probably about to get mugged and left for dead!" Diego warns abrasively and everyone gives him 'what the fuck' looks. "I'm looking out for her! The city is scary at night!"

Everyone just shakes their heads.

Anyway she stops at a window where she sees- **"Dad."**

Their father is dead.... Well at least it's not someone he gives a shit about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I just want to clear some things up. I'm guessing this will take longer to update, just because I'll probably try and do half an episode each chapter, just to cover enough ground. When I started with the IT movies I wanted to do 1k-2k words a chapter, which usually equaled about ten minutes of screen time. (Like this chapter. It’s a premiere, I can do that.) I always told myself I wouldn't do a show unless it was short, but I'm weak for this show. So longer, but less frequent chapters.
> 
> Quick update on things that have happened between this and my last fic. Not much, I started online school, so that's probably gonna hinder my writing as well. ;(. I also saw the Dune trailer, and even though I've never read the book, never watched a previous movie, and it's not coming out anytime soon, the trailer was so good I was like, 'I wanna write a fanfiction about characters I don't know watching a movie I haven't seen'. 
> 
> I also started a tumblr! My username is glitterfairy-21225. :) I post amateur photoshop there!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Weddings & Funerals part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's gonna seem like I hate Vanya, and to a lesser extent Diego. But I don't.
> 
> I considered several possible ages/times/settings for them to be/come from before settling on one where the characters are at the brink of being their worst selves. Like not there yet- but also you can see how something as catastrophic as losing one of them could destroy them completely.
> 
> So basically there are moments where Vanya can just melt your heart and make you be like- 'Oh baby.' But also moments you just think 'pull it back.'
> 
> As for Diego- basically he's the big brother bully who'd murder anyone who hurts his family, but also he can be downright cruel, but also there's a heart of gold hiding under the surface.
> 
> Also, no one bringing up Ben's absence is an intentional choice made by me. In which everyone's thinking so much about their own issues to notice. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ God, they're so messy.

**Vanya's POV**

Extraordinary. That was the word Dad used to describe her. How disappointed he must have been when he realized she was the only one of his children that just wasn't. 

She knows she shouldn't put to much stock in finally being a part of something her special siblings are doing, especially when she's only here because Five maybe missed her as much as he of course missed the rest of their family. But Vanya is here, sitting beside The Umbrella Academy, experiencing something so out of the ordinary. And when it's done, she'll get to talk about this because she was there.

And she's in the future too, her siblings were impressed by her instrumental work, Vanya did something so well that it made the extraordinary impressed. 

That thought is enough to get her through shots of their home, so empty. It's nothing new. The mansion is so big it's easy to find somewhere to hide away to be alone. For her siblings, Vanya doesn't need to hide for loneliness to find her. 

But as always, there's a certain dread that accompanies every shot. Back in reality it would easily be recognized as the fear of Dad coming in at any moment with a cruel remark, a reminder of how little she is compared to her family. But Dad is dead in that world, so what more is there to dread?

Maybe it's the pictures. Everyone without her. Everyone painted with her watching from the sidelines as always. She watches the paintings shift to a later one, without Five. Five got his own personal portrait. She glances back at her brother to remind herself that he turned out okay after all. God, she's missed him so much.

"Who is that?" Klaus asks aloud as a statue of someone... someone appears. No one has an answer. Even as the painting looks a little less crowded. And Vanya chooses not to think about what that means.

Vanya doesn't know why the shot keeps coming back to her. Probably because she's just the odd one out, the outsider looking in. The words **'The Umbrella Academy'** appear on screen. How ironic then that it seems to be following the one person not included.

The house is as big and ominous as it always was, but she assumes her future self hasn't visited in awhile, so it must be so much more for her. Or maybe not so long because she seems to be casual in saying hi to Mom. Though Mom doesn't seem to hear her. Probably just Vanya's voice not being loud enough.

Allison hears her though. Or probably just sees her. She's much taller than her, and much more beautiful than Vanya could ever be. Her hair done, her clothes more stylish, the star of the family by far. Vanya smiles as she sees her and her sister hug, as awkward as it seems. They haven't been close since they were little, and Vanya does mean little. Five or six, sometime before her ordinariness sunk in for good.

**"What is she doing here? You don't belong here. Not after what you did."**

The words strike her, cold and unwelcoming. She doesn't belong here. Not now, not then, not even in the future.

"What you do?"

It's not lost on her that their first reaction to Diego being a little more cruel than usual is to blame it on her, even when it comes to the sibling known for being cruel.

Vanya shrugs, afraid, holding back tears in her eyes. She wishes she could just run off to her room, her violin, or anywhere in the mansion where no one comes looking for her because no one is looking. Like she always does at every reminder of how unwanted she is. 

But she can't, because she's on an extraordinary adventure with her extraordinary siblings just like she always wanted. Dad and Diego and the rest are right. Vanya just doesn't belong here.

**"Forget about him. I'm glad you're here."**

She glances at her sister, gratitude swirling within her. That one line is more than her siblings ever gave her in the present. Is that true now? Does Allison actually enjoy her prescence? Vanya doesn't ask, in part because she's not brave enough to speak up as soon as the show moves on but also in part because she doesn't want to know the answer.

Luther or at least Luther in the future is looking around a room. Probably not his own since he clearly lives on the moon. Wait, is it Dad's? Are they allowed in Dad's room now? He is dead, the thought still shocking her to the core.

But Diego comes along, causing Five, Klaus, Allison, and Ben to all groan and Vanya to mentally prepare herself for the fight that's sure to happen. Diego rolls his eyes at their antics as Luther turns bright red and huffs.

The conversation starts normal enough, though she assumes that it'll deteriorate at any given moment. They talk about Dad, his death which is supposedly normal, but Luther doesn't believe that because of his monocle.

"That's a stupid reason." Diego grumbles, and Vanya's inclined to agree though she doesn't say as much. It might be strange that Dad's monocle is missing, but Luther just sounds like he's really pushing it.

**"It's just a sad old man who kicked it in a big, empty house. Just. Like he. Deserved."**

"Diego!" Luther says in outrage, glaring holes into his head. "Of all the disrespect- You are a- I can't- Ugh!"

The brother in question seems stunned by his future self's words, but not as though he's about to object to them. Maybe Diego's known all along that he's felt this, and just never dared to put it into words before. And maybe Vanya can relate.

Future Luther just tells him to go, to Vanya's surprise. He's not going to pick a fight? Or have they already had this fight? Maybe Diego's said something similar in the past that at seventeen he's too afraid to say but does in the future. Doing yet another thing Vanya could never dream of doing. Or maybe she's just reading into things.

Future Vanya looks around, glancing down the comics and magazines. She's been trying to avoid looking at those displays as of late, hating the hurt it elicits within her. But then her future self focuses on something else.

A book with her picture. Probably the only picture that exists of her. Taken just after she was shunned from the family portrait. Mom did it to make her feel better. Vanya convinced herself that maybe Dad was trying to throw her a bone through Mom. 

**Dad,**

**I figured, why not?**

**V.**

"Did you write a book?" Allison asks, confused. Vanya's not exactly a bookworm, but she doesn't fool herself into thinking her sister knows that about her. She just can't comprehend Useless Number Seven doing something interesting.

But at least she can reunite with Pogo. He's always kept her company when the others didn't. Always reminded her why she wasn't a part of The Academy in much kinder words than her father could ever manage.

"An autobiography?" Diego echoes their caretaker. "What, you write about hearing us talk about our missions?" He scoffs.

Five scoffs as well, but at Diego. God, she's missed him. "You wish. She wasn't exactly favorable to you, Two. No wonder why. Thank god she did though, the future was so boring."

Diego's eyes turn to fire. Luther holds a warning hand on his shoulder, which only seems to make him angrier. Still, he holds his tongue. Vanya smiles at Five, resisting the urge to hug him again. It's been four long years since she's seen her favorite brother and in that time no one's stood up for her.

**"It's been sixteen years, four months, and fourteen days. Your father insisted I keep track."**

"Christ." Five mutters.

That long without him. She's gotten her only friend back for less than thirty minutes and she already can't imagine how she could ever manage without him. She can't and she didn't. Vanya can't stand up for herself, that's why she needs Five so much. 

That's why even when the others gave up and thought him dead, she didn't. She held on to Klaus's promises of him not being a ghost, to Dad forbidding them from saying he was deceased. Only Vanya, Klaus, and Luther saw merit to that, and the latter two for the previously mentioned reasons. Vanya held on to hope for as long as she could.

She left the lights on as long as she could. The story is one she kept to herself as to not give her family any more reason to tease her, but as she listens to her own voice, more mature, telling it, she feels none of that. Only a dull sadness at how she lost her brother.

Vanya can tell by the looks of surprise she's getting that her contributions went unnoticed.

"I could use a sandwich." Five admits, and Vanya realizes just how gaunt his face looks. He hasn't been eating properly. The realization physically pains her. She'll make him a million pb&m sandwiches when they get home, if she still remembers how.

**"Your father always believed that Number Five was still out there somewhere. He never lost hope."**

That's true. That's also something that Vanya's thought about relentlessly. Dad believes in Five's survival, Dad wants him back home, Dad must care about him. She supposes he must care about all of her siblings. If Vanya were to disappear would he want her back home? Would he care? Unlikely without her having any use to the family.

And that's wrong. She is aware that that's wrong. It's wrong for her to be treated like this because of how ordinary she is. So why do they treat her like this?

There's a flashback. Vanya thinks she remembers this day. Her brothers and sister planned this out. Vanya had no say in it, but tagged along anyway. Ben was nervous while Five, Klaus, and Diego thought it would do them no good, but Allison and Luther were convinced that if they went to Dad with giant smiles and only the desire to say goodnight, Dad would have to say it back.

He didn't and he doesn't in the show. Just the same refusal to so much as look up as their faces fall. Vanya still remembers the disappointment, because she's grown used to it. She probably already had by the time they pulled this stunt.

Only Allison lingers after Mom encourages them off to bed, spiting Dad one last time with a line over the shoulder. But Allison will get her time with Dad. She'll get training, she'll get attention and praises because of how special she is. They all will. All Vanya will get from him is cold reminder after reminder of her plainness. Allison's just being spoiled.

"Good one, sis." Klaus says in encouragement. Because someone always has to encourage Allison. 

Klaus is in the future too, rummaging Dad's desk like he might do to their closets or the liquor cabinet. She tries not to think too hard about that. Klaus and Allison hug, and it's fond but Vanya can't help but think of it as reserved. 

They've always been close, more so when they were younger but even now they're still on better terms than she is with most her family. Klaus essentially serves any sister role Vanya might have hoped to have for Allison. Or vice versa.

Klaus lies about being clean, makes it clear that most of their brothers aren't so happy with their father even in the future, and then makes fun of the man whose funeral they're attending. It's actually pretty funny. Vanya hides her smile though everyone else grins openly, with only Luther glaring at all of them, though she doesn't miss how he avoids looking at Allison as he does so.

Luther kicks him out soon enough, but not before forcing Klaus to drop everything he's already stolen. Vanya rolls her eyes as in the present Luther grumbles about 'disrespect'. His annoyed look quickly turns to that of outrage when it's revealed Klaus still pulled one over on him.

**"So, Klaus is still Klaus in case you were wondering."**

"And I always will be, baby!"

"Shut up!"

"Are you gossiping about us?" 

"What?" Luther's face drops. "No!"

"You're definitely gossiping." Five murmurs, eyes rolling, uninterested.

"Okay, leather is cool!" Diego says, words biting on his teeth. "And I do not wear clothes in the shower."

"You didn't tell me Luther was a gossiper!" Klaus says to Allison in delight. 

"I do not gossip!" 

**"Patrick filed for divorce eight months ago."**

The silly atmosphere in the room disparates, everyone shocked into silence. Such a serious topic catching them all completely off-guard. Yes, it makes sense that as adults they'd do adult things, and Vanya's not even sure if they're in their thirties or forties or what in this, but a marriage? And now a divorce.

**"What about Claire?" "He got custody."**

"Custody..." Allison whispers. Vanya realizes just what exactly her sister's future self is going through with a sickening twisting in her gut. Oh god-

"Holy shit, you have a kid." 

Everyone glares at Klaus. Allison sighs. "Yes, thank you for that."

Luther suggests the obvious, but she claims to be done with that. Both Vanya and Allison's eyes widen at that. Her sister's future self tries to explain why, but it feels vague and Vanya fails to understand.

Couldn't take it back... Why can't Allison just rumor them into forgetting whatever it is that happened? Why is it always her family's first instinct to throw away the gifts she was denied?

The scene shifts so they don't learn more, leaving her wondering what could have possibly happened. 

But now they're all together. She wonders what Diego did to get that scar. Probably something on a mission, and if Vanya dared asked how in this version of events, he'd probably have told her off. But for now he's quiet, everyone's quiet and awkward like her.

Luther tries to start things off, because he's team leader, her opposite in every way. And he wastes no time bragging about being Dad's favorite. Klaus interrupts, easily stealing everyone's attention while Vanya just sits there as useless as ever. But at least she's there.

Luther directs the subject to Dad's cause of death, and Vanya actually speaks and no one tells her to shut up. Luther even answers her question. She smiles to herself softly, even as her brother begins to describe all the ways Dad was acting weird before he died. Besides, even if it was foul-play, it sure as hell isn't gonna be solved by Vanya.

It looks like her brothers are gonna start fighting again but Luther instead asks Klaus to use his powers. And though Vanya stifles a laugh at the Hitler line, she can't help but feel annoyed by Klaus's refusal to be a part of this. 

To do the one thing that makes him special. How is it that Klaus can still be one of them when he doesn't even use them. If their roles were reversed Vanya would savor everything she could do, even with an ability that's rarely that useful, and Klaus would surely go mad from the loneliness that comes with the label of ordinary, being who he is he'd absolutely despise it.

Luther moves on, instead focusing on Dad's monocle. How it's useless but personal, and Luther says it all in a way that it begins to sound as if he's suggesting something as if it was one of them. But he wouldn't... 

**"He thinks one of us killed Dad."**

Luther doesn't deny it.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Klaus asks. Present Luther shrugs, looking like he's trying to think of words to defend himself, but he must know that there are none.

"I leave for sixteen years and this is what we deteriorate to." Five shakes his head in disappointment.

Unbelievable. Of all their issues, Vanya really thought murdering each other wasn't one of them. Diego rubs it in and then leaves, everyone else following suit despite his protests, even Allison.

"Don't joke about Mom." She hears Diego whisper harshly to Klaus. 

That's the only thing they can see wrong with everyone leaving like this. Leaving only Luther behind to an empty room. Vanya wonders if he knows a loneliness like she does.

A loneliness that only really suck in on their first mission. She remembers this day. The day on screen. She remembers not being there.

"This." Ben murmurs sadly.

An upbeat song plays as her siblings begin to use their abilities to fight the bad guys. Vanya watches in avid fascination. Allison, Luther, Diego-

"Guns are for sissies, D?"

"I was working on it!"

She's never seen these missions firsthand. She was there when they all gave there mission reports, desperately trying to imagine what it would have been like to be there for real. Vanya did that for years before it started making her feel sick and she couldn't stand to listen in anymore. Dad didn't ask about the change. No one did.

"We look fucking happy." Klaus snorts, just to add insult to injury. Or maybe injury to insult. "Well, you all do. I was just kind of there. How long did it take for the thrill to wear off?" Vanya bites her tongue as she was always told to do.

"Saving lives isn't about a thrill, Klaus." Diego glares.

"There was never a thrill for me." Ben whispers as his past self kills people in the other room.

"Ben." Luther rolls his eyes, like he's had this conversation before. He probably has given what's onscreen, not that she'd know.

**"Can we go home now?"**

Vanya takes note of the look on Five's face as he watches this. He looks sad almost, she assumes because he's probably missed these missions. It turns to a steely determination within a moment's time, probably to remind himself that he's really back now.

They all pile out, standing in the infamous poses that appear on all those magazines. There are more frames of that one image than there is of her in the entire mansion.

And then it's her and Dad on that roof. Vanya naively asking for what must have been the hundredth time why she just can't be a part of something special with her family.

**"I'm afraid there's just nothing special about you." "Oh."**

Diego snorts.

God those words cut deep, and she thinks that that was the moment it finally sunk in for her. She's not some late bloomer, no surprise powers, Vanya is not one of them. And that hurt.

What hurts more is that even now no one speaks up to her defense. Not even Five. Just like always. Because why should they? It's true after all. She's not special. They can't argue against something that's true.

But nothing hurts more.

**"-gifted with abilities beyond the ordinary. I have adopted six such children. I give you the inaugural class of The Umbrella Academy."**

Dad answers reporters questions, but the scene cuts away right after he mentions the fate of the world. But he always talks about the fate of the world, only now Vanya has reason to believe him again. But things still haven't changed. Vanya is still going to be absolutely useless when it comes to that stuff.

Wow, Klaus so weird. So, so weird. 

"At least you're trying." Luther gives before Klaus succumbs to frustration and begins screaming at Dad's picture and urn.

She is never going to get him.

He finally gives up and reaches for a drink -the opposite of being sober- and.... Jaws drop around the room as everyone turns to Klaus.

He wastes no time jumping to his own defense. "Look, whoever thought it was a good idea to leave me alone with a pile of ash is clearly throne to blame!"

"So Allison and I are the only ones with any respect for the dead!" Luther throws his hands up in exasperation. Vanya holds back the annoyance at him forgetting that she's done nothing wrong so far when it comes to Dad's memory.

Luther's future self walks past all the old flash cards that Mom keeps up for memory's sake. Allison looks at a magazine she's on the cover of. Vanya's jealousy reemerges but the somber music numbs it a bit. She doesn't even look happy, even as she looks at that necklace she loved so much when they were younger.

Klaus takes more of his drugs, Diego lays on the couch, crackling his knuckles. Both seemingly normal things made to seem so much more sad. Then again, emotion is the power of music. And finally Vanya sits on the staircase, as alone as she always is.

Everyone looks so sad. So alone. Their future is bleak and depressing. Then again so is their present. Not a smile in sight. Is this all they'll amount to in life? Sure, this is the start of the story but the fact that only twelve years in the future their lives are this devoid of joy is saying something. Is Vanya cursed to never feel happiness? Have her brothers and sister been cursed as well?

Luther takes out a record and puts it into a player, they've always been able to here whatever he plays from his room, and Vanya predicts a sad song to deepen this depression they've all managed to share. Maybe the only thing they can share besides a last name and a father who's impact stretches even into adulthood.

Tiffany?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! I did it! Faster than I thought I would! 
> 
> FYI, sometimes I'll do two POVs per chapter, but for episode one I'm only gonna use one every chapter that covers it. Just because of the change is word count, I want a definite average so I'll know when to switch. So at the most there will be four narrators per episode, and at least two.


	3. Author's Note

(Skip to the end if reading about broken bones upsets you.)

Hi, um, short story. Yesterday was Friday in Maryland and so my brother and I went biking. Our Dad brought us to a park and then while we left he went fishing so we were mostly unsupervised. 

I’m kinda new to biking and really bad at going uphill, so being the smart young man and woman we were, when we found this... Basically a mountain that was mostly uphill... we decided to walk up with our bikes with the plans to zoom down it. 

It just seemed like a fun idea to us at the time. 

So I was supposed to make a turn or break at this bridge and didn’t. There was a narrow creek under it and everyone kept saying words like ‘ten foot fall’ and ‘thirty miles an hour.’ 

Sometimes I read some of your comments and feel like people idolize me... Me: The Genius ladies and gents! 

I’m just really, really lucky because my brother rushed in there to pull me out of the water, there was a doctor on scene, and I didn’t hit my head. An ambulance was called right away and I feel really grateful to have my mom with me all the way. (Even if I’m not allowed to call the medicine drugs ;P)

Miraculously the only thing that got broken were the bones in my right thigh. I got surgery this morning to do some medical stuff with a rod. The doctors and nurses kept saying that I should be walking today but I haven’t yet.

All this to tell you that I don’t think I’ll be up to writing until further notice. :( This story is NOT abandoned! I just need time to get back to normal, okay?

I realize I probably could’ve told you that I broke something and am unsure when the next chapter will be but... I like telling stories.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. So it's my seventeenth birthday and I crave attention so.... Been awhile, hasn't it? Uh, update, my leg is much better, it's not even in a cast. It never was, I guess because it was my upper leg that was broken. I actually don't need crutches anymore, I just limp a lot and rely on walls a lot.
> 
> Other news; I haven't gone downstairs since I got home from the hospital a month ago, I will today for cake and my birthday movie, I'm gonna free trial Disney+ to finally see Hamilton, I haven't been to church in awhile, probably go next week so I have at least one last Sunday to myself before it's back to assuring my mom that I'm not listening to music, I just like how Airpods feel in my ears.
> 
> On another note, my dad bought me a betta fish to keep me company. I named him Klaus, not after anyone we might know. I'd show you a picture but my computer isn't good with pictures on ao3 so you'll have to go to my tumblr if you want to see him.
> 
> Oh you didn't care? Too bad, it's my birthday if I want the notes to be about my life they will be.

**Ben's POV**

Despite this only being thirty minutes in, Ben knows at least two things he's pretty sure his siblings haven't noticed yet. For starters, no one has questioned why he hasn't appeared in the future. He suspects why for each of them. Luther is probably the most held up on Dad's death, which only riles Diego up against him. Allison and Klaus only have eyes for their glamorous (said ironically for Klaus's case) future selves.

But then there's Five. Which leads him to his second realization. Five knows something. Something Ben suspects is about him. He can see this look of dread in his long lost brother's eyes everytime his gaze passes over him. It makes the always-present pit in his stomach even worst. Ben hadn't even thought that possible but then again he really shouldn't go around thinking things are 'impossible' anymore.

And then there are the things that his siblings would have to blind not to notice. Specifically that they've somehow gotten worst in twelve years time.

It's shown plain and visible on screen as his family's future selves all sit in their loneliness. 

What?

Tiffany?

Klaus's jaw drops. "Oh my god, is this happening? Please tell me this is happening!"

"What?" Luther demands even as his and Allie's future selves start moving to what is clearly going to be something amazing. "What are you talking about?"

"Diego's masturbatory session, what do you think?" Klaus says as Diego closes the study doors conspicuously.

Ben is suddenly relieved that he's not there in the future if only to avoid the embarrassment of this. His siblings are dancing. Like full blown this is a dance party dancing. An awe settles over him and his family as they watch.

Klaus and Allison are the first to break out of it, having no reservations, both jamming out to the song in their seats. Ben is seriously regretting sitting on the same couch as them, but this does lead to an interesting dilemma for him to think about as his brother jabs his side unintentionally.

He sees the same internal battle in his brothers' eyes. All his brothers, though Five tries to his behind a mask of probably half-real disgust. Nice to know somethings about his brother haven't changed.

But then Ben realizes he is doing the same shit as Luther and Diego and he can't have that, so he sets his thoughts on Five aside and promptly gives in. He starts dancing in his seat. 

It's crowded with all three of them, and Klaus must agree with because then he's grabbing both Ben and Allison by the hands and pulling them to behind the couches.

Ben doesn't even know how to dance!

Klaus lets go of his hand to spin Allison, leaving Ben to his own devices, and he's probably making a fool of himself but this is a lot of fun. Five of all people gives in shortly after, joining in with Vanya. 

To Ben's joy, both Luther and Diego give in eventually (the former at Allison's encouragement) even if Luther is somehow even worse at dancing than his future counterpart. Ben guesses he must have gotten a few more lessons between then and now. As for Diego- Wow, he is really good at this.

There dance party is interrupted alongside the one onscreen. The music cuts with the sounds of crashing. Thunder roars as objects fly. And only now does Klaus successfully look after their father's remains- Wait, he was dancing with their father's ashes, wasn't he?! 

They scurry back to their seats as their future selves burst outside. Before anything Diego glares at the rest of them. "No one speaks of what just happened, got it?

**"It looks like some sort of temporal anomaly. Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the two."**

He says that without a hint of freaking out. Ben sighs, officially resigning to himself that anything in this life can happen and it will barely phase this family. 

Klaus throws a fire extinguisher into the anomaly, accomplishing absolutely nothing in the process. An old man appears in the blue flames, and before their eyes he evolves, or perhaps devolves into Five. Nearly identical to the recently found brother before them, or maybe even younger. 

Okay, now Ben is resigned to the oddities of their lives.

"That's you." Luther breathes. "And you're... You!"

"Noted." Five says dryly, continuing to stare at the screen with that calculated look Ben has admittedly missed.

"Are you making a sandwich?" Klaus asks.

"I've been hungry." Five murmurs to answer Klaus, and then clicks his tongue. "The 24th. That I can work with."

"What do you mean 'work with'?" Luther asks.

"My future self. He has time."

"Time for what?"

"The apocalypse." Five's eyes flash with more annoyance than usual, and this is coming from someone who hasn't seen him in years. "Has your tiny brain forgotten already?"

"Okay, there's no need to-"

"Pay attention!"

In the show they hear Five vaguely answer their questions, admit that Dad was right about something, and compliment Klaus's wardrobe. When he finally does explain how he got back, it's incredibly complicated and hard to understand, to the point two versions of Luther have to hold back two versions of Diego. It seems Ben's status as 'The Smart One' has been given back to its rightful owner.

**"Forty five years. Give or take."**

"Forty five." Allison breathes.

"It would appear." Five says stiffly, as though it barely phases him. 

"How old are you now?" Diego demands.

"Seventeen. Give or take. This is a... Alternative scenario. Like I said, I met someone who offered me a way back. She sent me to you guys at my age."

"So what I'm hearing is it was a girl who trapped us here." Klaus nods along as though he understands. "Never doubt Allison."

Five finds a newspaper about Dad and briefly reignites the fight between Luther and Diego before deciding it's same-old same-old and walking out again, hopefully not for another seventeen years this time, leaving the rest of them awed in his wake. 

**"Well... That was interesting."**

"Ha!" Klaus laughs. "You're gonna have to wear these dumbass uniforms in the future while we're showing off our swag attire! Loser."

"The uniforms aren't dumbass-" Luther's eyes widen as he realizes he did something against his code of honor. "I mean-"

"Shut up!" Five groans, rolling his eyes.

In his full uniform, Five looks at his oil painting, done after his demise. They all have self portraits, fully masked of course, but those are hidden away in some gallery room that Ben doesn't know the location of. That's why Five's is so special. It's out in the open for them all to see, showing their brother without his mask, as he was.

Five compliments Vanya on her book, calling it 'ballsy', something Ben would never think to describe Vanya as. Diego would probably say that that's because there isn't much of anything you can describe Vanya as, but Ben isn't Diego. Ben enjoys books, if his sister wants to write one he'd be glad to read it. 

**"Well there are worse things that can happen." "You mean like what happened to Ben?" "Was it bad?"**

His sister nods.

Oh.

"Pause the show." Allison whispers and then louder she says. "Pause the- I heard a rumor you paused the show!"

Luther pauses it, right as the scene cuts to a plaque with his name on it. There's a quote about light and darkness under it. **'May the darkness within you find peace in the light.'**

In the light...

"Five." Luther starts, voice riddled with caution. "Five, please don't tell me..." He doesn't even finish the sentence.

The only word to describe Five's face at that moment is remorseful. Truly and utterly remorseful. "I'm sorry."

A dam breaks. Diego and Luther begin talking at once. Somehow Ben ends up between Klaus and Allison, trapped in both their embraces. He thinks one or both of them are crying and maybe Ben should be to but he doesn't. It's just numb. Maybe because he already suspected as much. Maybe he because he knew it was coming. Maybe he's known it was coming for awhile.

"Y-y-y-y-ou knew!" Diego's stutter returns. It's been years but it's back now. "Y-you d-didn't s-s-say anything!"

"How was I supposed to!" Five defends himself. "I couldn't just say it, and I knew it would come up eventually anyways."

"A warning would have been nice." Allison snaps at him from their couch.

"Will you at least tell us how it happens?" Luther says. Normally that'd be an order but the way his voice quivers as he says it makes it anything but.

Five bows his head. "Vanya's book didn't say how it happened."

"Let me get this straight!" Diego barks, stalking over to Vanya, towering over her. She looks especially small as she cowers under his angry glare. "This writes a book about our 'family secrets' and doesn't even give the one detail we need."

"Diego." Allison says in exasperation.

"Leave her alone." Five jumps next to him shoving him away from her.

"Don't touch me you little creep! You disappear for years and come back and think you get to pull the shots? I don't think so." Diego says with such venom that it looks like him and Five are about to get into a fight. Ben hates when his brothers fight. Especially when there's something more important to deal with. Only this important thing to deal with is Ben and Ben's life.

"Do I make it to eighteen?" Ben asks, and everyone falls silent.

A pained look in his eyes, Five shakes his head.

Ben sighs out, refusing to let himself react in fear of what that reaction could be. The monsters inside him want out he can tell. But he holds them in. Not here, not now. But he thinks he knows how it happens. He holds them back for now but pretty soon he won't be able to.

"We'll prevent this."

Ben nods once and quietly says. "I want to keep watching."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

He ignores the concerned looks he gets and forces himself to smile assuring ly at his brother and sister so they'll let go. They do, but keep holding on to his arms. Ben doesn't know if he doesn't want to complain or doesn't have it in him to complain. And that's a little scary.

It rains for Dad's funeral, fitting given how he always seemed to be rain on their lives. Plus this way they can all bring umbrellas... Besides Diego. Mom seems confused but Diego insists that it's nothing to be worried about.

Luther lets Dad's ashes, or at least the ashes that remained after Klaus, fall to the ground. It's not beautiful. Not how it's described in Ben's books. Is this what lays in Ben's future? Or what would have been Ben's future? Is this what his future was like in this universe?

**"Probably would have been better with some wind."**

Yeah.

No one wishes to speak when Pogo offers, not even Luther, so Pogo talks instead. He talks about his own relationship with Dad. Ben pushes away everything, all the hurt he feels, the wondering if Dad cared when it happened, to acknowledge that Pogo has a right to his own feelings about the man.

Diego does not.

**"He was a bad person and a worse father. The world's better off without him."**

Even though Luther's not looking at him, is too busy looking at Diego with burning warning in his eyes, Ben sends his brother an apologetic look because he agrees.

Diego doesn't stop, goes out of his way, even when Luther gives him an out to not turn this into another fight. That Ben can't agree with because Diego keeps picking and picking at what he knows will get under Luther's skin until they're throwing fists at each other. 

Diego always has to get into fights doesn't he? Not even as they all step back, Pogo demands they stop, and Klaus obviously approves (which is a sure sign that nothing good can come from this) do they stop.

"And then Klaus performs his cover of 'What I like about you' except I change the word like to hate and describe all the ways Dad sucks and everyone sings along!" Klaus yells over the fighting. "Stop the violence! Ooh, that was a good blow!"

"Shut up!" Six voices yell at him.

Pogo and Five leave, having better things to do than watch this, no matter what those things are. Ben would probably do the same if he were there. It all culminates to them knocking over that statue from earlier.

**"And there goes Ben's statue."**

The tense atmosphere drops to that of shock and then sadness once again. Ben's back straightens at the reminder, even if he never forgot. Even Luther and Diego stop glaring at one another, there faces falling to regret.

"That statue was supposed to be me!?" Ben blurts out before he can stop himself. The others look at him, their spell of devastation not broken, all except for Klaus, who chuckles at his outburst.

"I'm sorry." Luther says earnestly as Diego lets out in genuinely heartbroken voice, "Sorry."

At least Ben made him agree on something. Cross that off his bucket list. Wow, that's a morbid joke. He talks to Klaus too much. Ben shakes it off and assures them. "It's alright."

But it's not alright. At least not in the future. This only made Diego madder, pulling out a knife and throwing it so it slashes Luther's arm.

"You missed." Luther mutters.

"I don't miss." Diego snaps back. "I got you right where I wanted to hit you."

But that's that. That's what gets Luther to drop the fight and leave. Vanya remains, saying exactly what Ben's been thinking. Diego ignores the criticism, instead choosing to mock her for her novel. Ben roll his eyes, but more and more he finds himself wanting to know more about this book. From what he can tell it might call out things no one wants to talk about.

 **"He was my father too."** <

Ben blinks back in surprise. Vanya's usually the last one to snap back when Diego's being a jerk. 

"Atta girl." Five grins at her, not caring if the others hear or not. Which is good because Diego really does need to be taken down a peg by someone who's not Luther.

Diego walks Mom inside, so that Klaus is the only one left, kneeling down at Dad's ashes to mock their father without being face to face with the man one last time. He sticks his cigar in the remains and leaves Ben's broken statue that he sorta already hates by itself.

So of course that's followed by their father. He says words that sound profound but Ben's long grown numb to any comfort or reassurance they might bring. Another flashback? Ben can't tell what he hates more, his family's messed up future or the glimpses into painful memories that he still has to live in everyday.

The training, Ben in the back, already lacking the passion to try and shove against his brothers and sisters. The tattoos, Ben winces, his eyes were clenched shut when he got his and he couldn't bear looking when his siblings got their's. 

Klaus has his good arm around Allison, her head on his shoulder, both weeping. Diego refuses their mother of all people, not in front of Dad, not in front of the artist, not even in front of them. Ben, Luther, and Five all wait nervously, all knowing the pain they'd soon come to endure. And then Vanya is there watching them. She pulls back her sleeve to draw an umbrella on her wrist in marker.

Ben glances at her and he can tell he's not the only one. "I-I'm sorry." Vanya whispers, turning red.

"Not like you could even stomach the real deal anyway." Diego says bitterly, looking anywhere other than at any of them. But Ben can see the hurt in his eyes. The pain the memory causes him. "Probably start crying like a baby."

No one tells him off, maybe because they're probably as haunted by the memories as Ben is.

Dad sits next to Luther's bed as he sleeps, Ben can't muster hope that this is for anything sweet or affection, and it isn't because his brother shifts in bed and reveals it was all for an experiment. Nothing new. 

"You're drooling." Allison says to Five affectionately.

"I do not drool."

But then one of Dad's monitor's begins beeping faster. Ben shares a concerned look with some of the others. The screen turns to a sleeping Vanya and then cuts away before they can see what's causing it.

"What was that?" Diego asks.

"This was years ago, Dad's had it fixed by now." Luther assures them. "Probably just a health concern or dream or something."

Pogo catches Vanya before she leaves, she gives in to Diego's bullying, but he assuring her that she has a place at that mansion. Though Ben's pretty sure Dad isn't the only reason it seems none of them have been there before.

**"I hope you know your Father loved you very much. In his own way." "That's kinda the problem, isn't it?"**

Ben's heart clenches. It is a nice thought, that Dad does love them, that Dad was saddened by what happens to him in the future. But no matter sad Dad gets that doesn't change the fact that he probably thought of a million ways to use his death as an example for training or something like that. The thought makes the monsters inside his stomach growl just thinking about it.

And then she leaves Pogo to look on after her as she goes. Ben frowns, thinking of the man who always looked out for them as well as he could being left alone in that giant house as they all left one after another after another. First with just Dad and Mom and Luther, and soon enough with even less for company. 

Allison apparently wanted the chance to say goodbye to their sister but missed it, Klaus has a guitar for some reason, and Five wants coffee. Ben laughs at Klaus's hating children joke without shame, because when a joke is funny then it's funny, even when coming from a moron.

Five decides to leave, and which causes Klaus's questioning. And he seems a bit concerned if Ben's not mistaken. Which Ben gets. He expects to expect Five to disappear for another four years every time he leaves the room when this is over. It must be worse after seventeen.

**"Do you even know how to drive?" "I know how to do everything."**

Damn.

"Humble." Allison says dryly.

"You look confused." Diego points out.

"Where did I learn how to drive?" Five murmurs thoughtfully. "On that note, where did I get a caffeine addiction?" Ben looks at him confused. Aren't those normal things people learn to do?

Klaus gasps loudly. "Addiction brothers!"

Everyone either rolls their eyes, groans, or sighs, but they all decide to drop the topic. 

Diego at least says goodbye before leaving, if a little rudely, poking fun at Allison's failed marriage of all things. He never knows where the line is, does he? Or maybe he does and doesn't care. Either way Klaus is still clearly his favorite.

Diarrhetic hippo?

Luther watches them leave, his cut on his arm still gashing. Why hasn't he had that fixed yet? It looks really bad. Ben squints at the screen. All the skin around is covered in blood and hair. Wow, those muscles are so large. It's a little hard to see in the lighting but that's a lot of blood, he needs to go to Mom.

Their mother in question isn't doing anything of note, just staring at the paintings that decorate her training station. She looks sad, which strikes a chord in Ben. Mom is never sad. She copies the position of a lady in one of her paintings before a band wraps around her head and she turns blue. Ben looks down, hating the reminder their mother isn't... Well, real.

It changes soon enough. Griddy's Donuts. Ben remembers that place. They stopped going after Five left, it didn't feel right. But those were some good memories. All of them just hanging out. Even Vanya came along.

It almost warms his heart to know that this is where Five goes when he comes back. Maybe when this is over, that's something they can do again. As a family. Maybe.

"Ha! She thinks your that guy's kid!" Klaus teases. Ben rolls his eyes. 

"At least I'm not actually a kid." Five bites. "Unlike some future versions of our family members."

"Isn't there a reason actual thirteen year olds don't drink caffeine?" Luther asks, sounding more confused than concerned.

"Oh my god, his smile frightens that old lady." Allison chuckles, then stops as her eyes widen. "Wait, is that Agnes!?"

"Holy shit, it is!"

"Aw, Agnes." 

"I miss Agnes."

"Agnes, come back!"

Five and the other guy chat like old men, which they are, confusing the latter greatly. He pays for his cup, though Agnes probably would have done it herself like in the good old days. Ben really has missed her. Five asks the guy for an address.

"You know what that's about?" Luther asks.

"I might have an inkling." Five murmurs, making a point not to look Number One in the eye. He elaborates no further.

The scene changes to a tracker? And this time Five doesn't look thoughtful. He looks just as confused as everyone else. And Ben finds that Five not hiding something from them might be scarier than the alternative.

Show Five notices several men in black walk in behind him in a reflection. But this Five knows- Oh crap, they have guns. This Five knows what's going on and who they are.

"I might friends in the future." Five says as if to say, 'huh'.

"Wouldn't call those guys 'friends'." Diego's teeth grit, eyes flashing with anger and concern. Not that Diego'd have anyone know about that last part.

 **"You think I want to shoot a kid? Go home with that on my conscience?"** Jesus. **"Well, I wouldn't worry about that. You won't be going home."** ...... "Jesus."

What follows is... disturbing.

Five..... Wow. A pencil? Why is this set to a song about people not knowing about the conquest of The Ottoman Empire? Take a history class! Five finally snaps the last guy's neck with his bare hands and then cuts himself with a knife, takes out a tracker and drops it near a drainage.

Oh, poor Agnes, she doesn't need this.

Someone pauses the show again, and for a moment no one speaks, everyone staring at the screen with dropped jaws. Another beat and then Klaus begins to clap, slowly and loudly, like in a movie before an applause breaks. An applause does break out.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Diego asks Five.

"I have no idea." Five says, stumped for the first time in his life. Or at least, for the first time in front of them. "Best guess... I befriend a mercenary group who gets me to perfect strength to time travel to 2019 but betray them in the process."

"Well, did you have to do that?" Luther throws his hands up.

"I don't know the details! We'll figure out if we keep watching so...."

"You just murdered a bunch of people." Vanya whispers in horror. Luther nods like she just made an excellent point. Ben holds his tongue, knowing that he's spilled a lot more blood for less, and everyone told him he was overreacting.

Five's expression softens. "I-I- They were going to kill me first, Vanya." He even looks ashamed. No one tells him he's overreacting.

Vanya nods softly and he softens at her admission. Five avoids looking at the rest of them and jumps to take the remote for himself and unpausing the show.

Diego is standing by a pier, something's in his hand. A moment passes and he lets Dad's monocle swing from his grip, Luther's words from earlier being told in a voiceover reminding all of them what this probably means.

Luther takes in a sharp breath, before stealing the remote from Five and the first two numbers instantly devolve into argument mode.

"I always knew it would be Diego." Klaus sighs, only Ben and Allison hearing him.

"To kill Dad?" Allison deadpans unconvinced.

"Someone had to."

"Had to kill Dad?" Ben deadpans unconvinced.

"Will the two of you shut up!" Five shouts, rubbing his forehead like he has a headache. "Whether or not Diego murdered our father, it hasn't happened yet, and with there being six minutes left in the first of several episodes I would like to get it over within the hour if possible."

Both of them actually obey, albeit unhappily, chests heaving as they glare at one another. 

"I didn't kill Dad." Diego still mutters.

Luther looks like he wants to disagree, or at least get the last word in, but Five's glare stops him in his tracks.

Klaus yells at him to hurry up, unawares of just what their brother is hiding. He gets back in the car, but someone's in there with him.

"Who is that?" Ben asks, watching his brother go over breakfast options with the man he's clearly already acquainted with. Klaus asks his friend's preferences the way he might with one of them, always forgetting those small details.

**"Everyone likes waffles."**

"Well, I wouldn't know, now would I?" Klaus responds.

This small mystery is put on pause as Diego drops the monocle into the water, effectively getting rid of the evidence. His walkie talkie reports on Five's leftovers from Griddy's, of course he set it up to match with police radio, and Diego gets back in the car like nothing ever happened.

Klaus asks Diego to buy him waffle, but apparently someone grew a spine because he says no. The camera passes the doors to reveal no one sitting next to him. Someone gasps.

"What?"

"Huh, I make friends with a ghosty." Klaus smiles, though for some reason it rings fake to Ben. 

"It's a ghost?" Luther asks, voice riddled with doubt. None of them know what ghosts are like, but Klaus only talks about them like buddies at best and inconvenient at worst, but everything Klaus says has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Klaus levels that strange smile at Luther. "Well, the proof is in the pudding, now isn't it?"

Whatever should have happened next is cut off by Vanya giving a strangled cry. They look at her in concern and then to the screen where she's looking in horror.

**Number 6 "Ben" (deceased)**

An ice cold shiver runs down his spine.

A ghost. He's a ghost?

Ben's not ready to die. As much as he's pushed all thoughts of what would have happened away, the fact of the matter is that this would have happened and it drives Ben crazy. He doesn't want to die. He wants to live, accomplish something, write a book, visit places without having to kill someone. 

So if the choice between sticking around with his family in any way possible arises, he'd take it, wouldn't he?

"Well," Klaus offers after a moment. "At least you're not stuck in the afterlife all alone with Dad."

"No." Ben blinks. "I'm just all alone with you. Which is- actually no, that's a lot better." Klaus and Ben nod at each other in agreement.

**"Rapists can climb."**

The softly spoken line snaps him out of the shock of seeing his own ghost. Wait, that was an adult. But he dies as a teenager. So.... Ghosts age?

"He's right, you know!" Diego says, as if he's been vindicated. "'Second floor'!" He scoffs.

Five reveals that he's finally going to give Vanya answers to questions he's pretty sure they all have. Ben doesn't know why he doesn't trust the others, they may be fucked up as a group but on their own surely someone can help him. Surely someone with powers will listen.

But at least Vanya has antibiotics to treat Five's wound which is good. She used to hold the first aid bag because Mom couldn't leave the house for missions. He begins to tell her his story, like he used to when she patched him up after missions.

Ben gasps as he sees his brother surrounded by debris, destruction, and he's alone. Utterly alone.

**"The world ends in eight days. And I have no idea how to stop it."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (🎶It's my birthday so sound the alarm, cause having lots of fun won't do me no harm🎶- I'm the only one who's gonna get that aren't I? That's been stuck in my head for six years. And more years to come!) 
> 
> Until next time! Don't know when that will be, maybe next month, maybe a little less than a month. I'll have to recalculate, this chapter was more than 1k longer than part one. Have a great Halloween, I'll be posting an Alt. POV for this, (that's a thing I do, newbies look out for a fic titles Alt. POV) and just know that in twenty four hours I'll have had cake.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run Boy Run part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having a bit of trouble getting into the groove of writing for this again, so the solution I had was to write from the perspective of a queen. And that was going well enough, but then I learned that there would be a new season, and they were naming it after our lord and saviour Allison 'Three' Hargreeves. 
> 
> Most of this was written today.
> 
> I once saw a character ranking done by a Vanya stan and she gave her her own category, so the top tier was just titled 'Vanya'. (The bottom tier was titled 'Bev's Dad'. It's just important to me that that's known.) So I read the comments and someone said Vanya didn't deserve her own tier, and the response was just 'Get out.' And that's basically how season two made me feel about Allison.

**Allison's POV**

The screen goes black. For a moment, Allison has no idea what to say, what to do. It's all so much. What happened to Five, what happens to Ben, what happens to all of them. She's granted five seconds to just process and exist in her shock. But then all hell breaks loose.

"Well that was traumatizing!"

"Dude. What the fuck!?"

"You should have told me!"

"I did!" Five argues. "What part about apocalypse did you people not understand?" 

An apocalypse. An apocalypse? Of all the things that Five could've been doing out in the world, this hadn't come up.

She'd hoped... She doesn't know what she'd hoped. Either Five was in danger and they weren't doing everything they could to help him, or he's living his life away from them, happy to never see them again. 

"But what about the men you massacred like cattle?" Diego asks.

"I don't know." Five bites in frustration. "It doesn't make any sense!"

"Maybe they were time traveling cattle?" Klaus suggests.

"And how could they do that if I'm the only one who can time travel?" Five looks at him like he's stupid. 

"Maybe you're not as special as you think." Allison snarks, earning his glare.

Five huffs and picks up the remote. "Look, can we just go back to watching this shit show?!"

"Seriously? After all this!" Luther says.

"It's the only thing left to do!"

She's always wanted her own tv show, but this isn't what she meant.

The episode starts with a normal day for them, except Five is still there and no one's awkwardly trying to ignore the fact that he isn't. Allison sighs. As messed up as their future selves are, it's better than this... this... totalitarian life their Dad forces them into. She wants to wear what she wants and go places she decides on her own to go to and have her own adventures.

She knows Luther and knows he thinks this will teach them to be more respectful to Dad, but a part of her really hopes she can still get all the freedoms of a normal adult anyway. Is that so much to ask?

Everything seems mundane about this opening until Five stabs his knife into the table.

"Oh." She whispers, realizing what this. She should have figured. 

They watch in united dread as Five and Dad argue. It's all so familiar, even though she's been struggling to remember this conversation for years. Everyday that passed it became harder and harder to remember the details of the last time she'd seen her own brother. 

"You should have listened to Dad." Luther tells him. Allison winces, but it is true, isn't it?

"Way to state the obvious." Five bites. Apparently he took a level in humility.

Klaus shrugs lazily. "Eh, if you didn't none of us would know about this shit, would we?"

Luther sighs wearily. "If he never left, we'd know how to work as a complete team and obviously have a better chance at defeating whatever causes this." Allison frowns, just imagining the stress he's under.

Klaus rolls his eyes and responds with, "Your fly is down."

"What?" Luther looks down.

"And so is your guard apparently."

"Leave him alone, guys." Allison rolls her eyes. This is the end of the world they're talking about, if Luther still gets worked up over their normal missions teasing him like this is just childish.

Five runs out of their house, an on the nose song she doesn't recognize plays as he does it anyway. Despite knowing that this doesn't end well, she's still awed as the seasons change with his jumps. Is he going forward in time? Is that snow from the same first winter without him?

And is he wondering the same? His blue eyes hold no joy, no arrogance, and nothing of the boy on screen. Knowing that he gets stuck is bad enough, Allison can only guess it's worse for him. He lived through it the first time.

She hates that he has to live through it again, that they have to watch him live it in the first place, but there it is, there brother standing in the midst of the fire and rubble that became of just down the street. 

And he runs back. Back to them, back their family, and her heart aches thinking of how much they wanted him back. He calls for them, and when that doesn't work tries to jump again. He's never looked so lost before. But then again, who wouldn't be lost? She certainly doesn't know what to do, and she wouldn't have at that age. It seems so hopeless. 

How-?

An umbrella flies down next to him, the words **"The Umbrella Academy"** over it.

That's how? How they save the world? 

Allison bites her lip.

Five tells Vanya about his life, how he survived in that wasteland, what he ate. Klaus whines at hearing about expired twinkies, so Allison swats his shoulder while shooting Five a look. 

Maybe it's from the isolation, but either he's lost his sense of surrounding or is just determined not to meet any of the pairs of eyes on him. He stares at the tv numbly, as though refusing to show the slightest hint of emotion. It's as though Dad is here or something.

He's skinny, more than he's always been. Much more than the Five onscreen, but somehow less than you'd expect of someone who lived the way he has for the past four years.

The Five on the show is just as pissed about Vanya not immediately processing his crazy story as he was with them. At least he answers her questions.

**"You think I didn't try everything to get back to my family."**

Allison sends a tentative smile his way, even if he doesn't see it. Hesitantly, she figures it couldn't hurt. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, watch the fucking show." He snaps back.

"You can't talk to her like that!" Luther immediately jumps to her defense. Her first reaction is to smile at him, but this isn't some grownass man robbing a bank being rude, it's their brother who's clearly been through hell. He deserves a pass.

"Let it go, Luther." 

"No, he can't just act like this!" He insists.

Allison sighs. She doesn't want a fight. "I heard a rumor you let it go."

And that's that.

The show Five nearly leaves after getting fed up with Vanya's questions, but she convinces him to stay the night. She leaves to takes her medication while Five pulls out a- Oh god, that is an eyeball. Okay, it's fake, that's good.

What's not good is Five leaving anyway.

"I have important things to do." Five says to Vanya. 

"With an eye?" Ben asks. 

"You'll see."

"Was that a pun?" Klaus asks, delighted. 

A taxi pulls up at an inn, a man and a woman step out, both dressed in suits.

"Who the fuck are these assholes?" Klaus asks, causing Diego to snort and Luther to splutter. Allison shoots the latter a look as if to say, 'Don't worry about it.'

**"Reservation for Hazel and Cha Cha."**

The dialogue is as though they're just two people on a business trip but lighting and music tell a different story. These two are trouble. Somehow.

"I'm willing to bet they work for the same people who sent those gunmen." Five murmurs, either to them or himself.

The woman, Hazel probably, asks for a package, and they bring it to their room, she opens it to reveal cargo straight out of a slasher movie. Complete with a stupid mask and everything. Allison bites her lip again, not liking where this is going.

Despite the stuff, they're acting like it's just boring, unfair work conditions. It probably is for them. The man, who Allison guesses is Cha Cha, hides their briefcase in a vent for some reason. It must be important, there's a whole protocol about it.

"You worked with these guys?" Diego asks after she pulls out a picture of an old guy, probably around fifty eight.

"Apparently." Five doesn't even seem all that surprised, just intrigued.

She pulls out a tracker, which leads to the thing Five cut out of his arm earlier, still just outside Griddy's. Police are swarming the area, a pair of detectives giving theories about what they think happened.

Allison immediately decides she likes the female cop, who's clearly smart while also making fun of the guys who tried to hurt her brother. She's also a woman of color who's sort of in a tv show, sort of, and Allison's been reading about how important it is to see yourself in the media. When she's a famous actress that'll be her.

The woman, Detective Patch, approaches Agnes, who looks terrified. Allison smiles as she watches her interview the friendly waitress with more gentleness than any of her brothers would have in that situation. Thank god for her rumors.

As she tells her story, Klaus asks. "Is Agnes gonna be a major part of this show? God, I hope so."

"She's clearly the best thing about the future." Ben murmurs back.

"Next to me!" Klaus protests. "Oooh! Klaus and Agnes: The Show. Now that would be quality tv."

Agnes finishes her story, Detective Patch asks a few more questions before being told about another detective. Allison's confused for about a second before freaking Diego walks out of the building, and Detective Patch wastes no time in tasering him.

Allison turns to Klaus, who stares at the screen in delight. "Better idea. Allison, Agnes, and Detective Patch: The Show. I see at least five Emmys, eight Golden Globes. At least."

"Shut up!" Diego shouts.

"Watch it." Luther says in warning. "What are you even doing there?" 

Apparently, it's a hobby for future Diego. Detective Patch, who says she doesn't want to be called Eudora so Allison won't, is clearly fed up with him. Plus some guy yells his name offscreen like they're friends. 

Detective Patch starts taking away his things and- oh gross, she dated Allison's brother? No, she can do much better, and clearly she realized that before the show even takes place. Figures Diego probably ruined whatever he had with her.

**"You're not police, Diego. Remember?"**

Oh. Allison immediately stores any teasing about this new development away for later. She knows he really, really wants to be a police officer when he gets out of here. Allison can't imagine how it would feel if it turns out her plans for life after this place didn't work out. Thank god that that's not possible. Maybe this time around Allison will help him out when it comes to police training or whatever.

Still, that doesn't stop Allison from hiding a smirk at Detective Patch telling him off. This strong woman can solve police cases without Diego having to get involved. She walks away from the cop car she pushed him in, straight past Hazel and Cha Cha. Great, now Klaus is gonna want-

"I want ice cream!" 

"No."

"Later?"

".... Fine."

The next morning Luther wakes up, puts on clothes, curses which Allison's proud of, and goes into her room where she's packing. Allison has a feeling she won't be leaving very soon though, which sucks for her future self but in the present she glad she'll be there when things get ugly.

**"You must be eager to see Claire, huh?" "I didn't think it was possible to miss a person this much."**

Oh right. She has a kid in the future. Allison avoids Luther's gaze and tries not to think of the daughter she'll have one day with the husband she'll have one day.

The husband who's normal, and probably famous, and probably the dreamboat, and definitely not her.... brother. She knows it wrong, she knows they're siblings whether their family's screwed up or not, but some days she just justifies it in her head. They aren't blood siblings, even if that feels like insult to her other not blood siblings, and they weren't even raised to be a normal family, so what's even making them siblings other than titles?

Klaus just tells her to get therapy and is otherwise completely unhelpful.

Her future self mentions wanting Luther to meet her daughter, and Allison holds on to that thought. They can still be... close, just not... that. He'll stay here with Dad and Allison will go live her life, seeing each other the same amount as actual siblings do.

Yeah, that's better. That's much better.

Allison smiles at the thought of her daughter looking up to Luther. 

And then Luther says no because of that stupid monocle. And she knows that Future Diego did some shit with it, but Allison can only agree with her future self telling Luther to let it go.

**"I think there's a reason you never left."**

And what wouldn't Allison give to get rid of that reason.

Luther slurps on the drink she hadn't noticed he had and it cuts to Klaus laying on a coach, eyes screwed shut as several voices scream his name. Is he still having nightmares? He jerks awake.

"What was that?" Diego asks.

"Hm." Klaus says thoughtfully. "I don't know, probs a nightmare. I'm guessing about clowns or lifelong commitments." 

"Nightmares?" Allison frowns. "But I thought-"

"They did. Future me probably ate something funny and then got our rocks off to the Cats soundtrack. Nightmare fuel for miles."

Allison wants to either call him on his bullshit or tell him not to talk about 'rocks' when he's sitting less than a foot away from her. But then Ben appears again and she's rendered speechless.

Ben and Klaus are being themselves. It's all so... normal. Well normal for her brothers. Like nothing's changed, even though a lot has, and almost none of them are the same. Allison feels a rush of jealousy, even though Ben is absolutely not going to die this time, that Klaus gets to still have their brother when he's lost to the rest of them.

Everything's so similar, it's like they're watching their brothers as they are right now. Pogo even comes in, busts Klaus for doing something stupid, leading to a blatant lie. A lie so blatant there's a flashback to him doing the thing he's not supposed to have down playing to upbeat music.

"Klaus!" Luther shouts as he throws all Dad's notes into a dumpster. "I- uh- no! Those are important!"

**"Liar." "Drop dead." "Low blow."**

"Klaus!" Luther admonishes. Allison just rolls her eyes at their antics. 

Anyways, Klaus mentions how depressing their lives are Andy Pogo tells him to find the box and he won't get in trouble. Can Klaus even get in trouble in this scenario? He's a grown man. A child in a grown man's body, but close enough.

Vanya wakes up in the morning to find Five gone. He holds his prosthetic eyeball in a office of some sort. She suppresses a smile when he tells a doctor that he found it in a playground. The doctor says the information Five needs is confidential and it is too easy to get Five threatening the poor man.

"So much rage in such a little package." 

"I think we need to work his anger management,"

"Try and I'll make you wish I used a pencil on you people."

**"Call security."**

Back to Detective Patch, Allison grins, her partner blatantly flirts with her in a no objectifying way that Diego probably never did. 

Wait Five killed someone when?

"You work for time traveling assassins." Klaus says.

Five sighs heavily. "Yeah."

Diego comes in, and even though she's the one getting him uncuffed he takes her work like owns the place. She tells him off like a badass, threatening jail time, and Diego asks her out.

"She can do better than you, Diego. Accept it and move on."

Diego splutters, face turning red as a cherry, causing her and Klaus to share a smirk.

Detective Patch says no, obviously, and she strikes a nerve in the process. He doesn't even try to deny it. A part of her feels bad for her brother, if that's really what this hero stuff is, but another figures that he needs the dose of reality.

Luther visits a gym with a boxing ring in the center. Allison's tempted to tell him that that would be cheating with his strength, but then he asks about Diego. Apparently he works there. Luther sneaks into a boiler room, which Diego's evidently been using as an apartment.

Luther looks around, stares at Mom's crochet mask as it moves to cover the reflection of his face almost like a real mask with Diego's name under it, and finally he looks at a flyer with their brother's name on it.

Vanya is back at the mansion, looking for Five. Allison feels for her sister, they seem close, and Five's already left once. She finds him in his room, standing there like he never was whenever Allison dared to take a peak, almost like a ghost.

 **"Sorry for leaving without saying goodbye."** Again.

Vanya offers to hear him out again, but Five instead goes on spiel about how she's probably right about time travel messing with his head, and how it's probably not real, and it is complete bullshit. Allison doesn't need the flashbacks or the time assassins to sniff out a liar.

"What?" Vanya asks Five, looking so confused.

Klaus snorts out a laugh as Allison giggles quietly and Ben shakes his head, but his eyes are amused. 

"You seriously buy that?" Diego scoffs.

So he gets her to leave after she offers him a therapist of all things. As soon as she's gone Klaus leaves the wardrobe, wearing something disgusting. She shoots him a horrified look when he says it's his finest outfit.

Wait, did he hide in the wardrobe when he heard Vanya coming? And Five is also questioning the monstrosity, so did he put it on when he was in their brother's closet, or did Five just not have time to question it before he heard their sister and hid for some reason? Oh god, it's so hideous.

So apparently Five is having Klaus pretend to be his father to get the information on the eye, probably because Klaus won't question anything like Vanya. But of course, this leads to Klaus's brain going off about discos and teen pregnancies she's so glad he never went through. For the baby's sake.

**"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that a part of Allison kinda gets 'it' but another part gives in anyways. Like with Claire, I think she knew that she shouldn't be rumoring her but she starts to reason and justify things. Half her brain is like 'no, it's wrong' but the other half is like 'is it so bad though?' But then the consequences hit. Like, Allison was capable of rumoring all that away, but she didn't because she knew she had to learn and become better, even though it hurt.
> 
> I adore her, but she is flawed and I don't pretend the people I stan are perfect.
> 
> (Also, when I'm done with this show I'm doing something with Marvel. My Disney+ free trial ends in a week and the only thing I've watched is Marvel, because what else is there, Star Wars!? And my obsession returned. I legit considered a hiatus for this fic to write another, but I won't. I'll wait. Also sorry in advance if forget about my obsession and don't feel like doing it by the time this is over.)


	6. Authors Note 2: The Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why am I like this? I'm over explaining a two month absence like thousands of fics don't have years between updates. Take this less as someone who desires sympathy and more as someone who just really really likes analyzing shit. You don't have to read it.

This was gonna go on the Notes of the actual chapter..... Sometimes things work out differently.

I feel like I owe you an explanation. So here we go. At the end of November I decided to wait until December to write this chapter and then that came and I decided to take the month off instead and write other things and wait until January, then I settled on January 4th because that was when school restarted. And then that passed, so then I was like......... Fuck.

I can't even be normal person and just say 'sorry, swear I'll update more.' No, I have to psychoanalyze myself. Okay, so obviously I fell off the momentum the day I fell off a fucking bridge. I was getting into a groove, planning on working on the next chapter after my bike ride, but then it was just like.... Yeah, I should probably take a break. And I've never gotten the momentum back!

My go to excuse is that this is a show and so much longer. When I decided that WTM/S was my brand I chose not to do shows unless it's really short because of how big a commitment they are, but I just.... Listen when season one came out, I was obsessed. But as 2019 ended that obsession faltered and I fell into other fandoms like IT. I hoped when season two came out it would be like that again, and I still love that show, I just also love other stuff.

The most I ever updated this series had to be during my IT days. And I obviously knew that was a big commitment in itself but I started it when I was at my peak interest in those movies, plus I took those chapters little by little so when I started losing in the fandom as a whole, I had such a good momentum and felt so loyal to my commenters that going months without a new chapter was unthinkable. 

And with Ready or Not, I wrote most of the chapters within a month of watching that movie and then waited until a set date in my mind to release the first chapter because my weird mind wouldn't let me post to this series so soon after finishing IT. I didn't want to set a precedent. And then when I had to write the final few chapters, which I just didn't get around to when I was releasing the pre-written chapters, it took weeks, which isn't months but still. 

I should also mention that another factor could be that I also have more confidence in other writing projects. Look when I was writing my IT stuff that was kind of the only thing I was writing. I mean, I did once write a 10k Richie Tozier psychic au in a few days mostly on my phone, which I'm still proud of. But also I didn't update in those few days.

But when most of your ideas seem like they need really long word counts and will take awhile before being finished and thereby getting the comments and kudos, it's easier to just work on the thing that you're sure about that can have a new part released the next day. And I know the easy solution is to just make everything multi-chapters, but I don't trust myself with those. Look, besides the WTM fics, the only other multiple chapters I've completed were a three-parter updated months apart and a fic I originally conceived as a long one that I decided worked better released in parts halfway through writing it.

But now.... Maybe it's because I learned how to come up with stuff that only needs 1 or 2k, but yeah, I felt like writing some other stuff. And that kind of distracted from this as much as this usually would have distracted from them. Which like I need to learn to balance more, because I don't want to abandon either. 

I also think a problem is that when I was writing my IT fics, I didn't even consider doing WTM for other media that I liked until it almost completely done. And with Ready or Not, I just went overboard and made a hit list of things I wanted to do this for, but that movie wasn't that long so it was okay. But sometimes with this it's just like... When can I do something else though?

I really don't want it to seem that I don't love this show or even this fic, because I really did have fun writing the next chapter, in a way I think I kind of forgot about. Maybe all these concerns will be irrelevant if I just tell myself to write the next chapter after an appropriate time and then do it. Maybe I'm overthinking it and I just forgot how fun this series is. Because I really do want to finish this and for them to learn a bunch and not even just out of stubbornness. Out of love for this show and Watching the Show/Movie fanfics.

But I think I have to stop after the first season. Sorry, I know that sucks but I hope that the lesser end goal will make it easier to get back into the swing of things. I mean, I hope that I'll feel up to it when the time comes and have rediscovered my love for this series in general. But for now just the first season seems like a good goal.

Oh god, did you actually read all that? Props.... I really just like talking about myself, okay?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone get Five therapy. Please and thank you.

**Five's POV**

They all watch in silent horror as the two people sent to find and kill him kill an innocent old man instead, even as he gives them all he knows about Five.

Five wasn't even expecting to be in this show and now people are getting hurt. 

The apocalypse. His alternate self needs to be there to stop his apocalypse in this alternate timeline. But hopefully in this timeline they won't need to have casualties. At least it wasn't his family. 

Thankfully, it cuts away to Allison arguing over the phone with someone. Vanya makes her way downstairs and overhears the last of the conversation as it becomes plainly obvious that she's talking with her ex husband, and it clearly wasn't an amicable divorce.

**"Well, I've never met your ex husband.... but he sounds like an asshole."**

They all nod in agreement but Five narrows his eyes. "Never?" 

But no one else seems to care about those implications because then Vanya says one wrong line and Allison throws a temper tantrum. They watch on in silent horror as she tears her apart, throwing the book, and all of their sister's issues, back in her face. It infuriates him, but Five holds back, finding some odd resonance in how she describes her feelings for her daughter. Not that his family needs to know that.

"I'm sorry." Allison whispers, looking shocked and more than a little horrified, by her future self's words.

"You're right." Diego tells her.

"Shut up." She glares at him.

"It's okay." Vanya whimpers. "Me too. I mean- I'm sorry too. For-" 

"You're an adult now, Vanya. You don't get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself."

"Don't be." Allison insisted. "I'm clearly the bitch in this situation."

"Don't call yourself-"

"Luther." She shook her head in his direction before looking back at Vanya. "I just.... I'm sorry."

To Five's relief, the show moves on, and so they leave the whole situation with Allison apologizing, as she should. They're back with that idiot from earlier preventing him from learning more about his only clue to saving the planet. He dismisses his future self's points, as Klaus just sits there in one of Dad's suits looking dazed and confused. Annoyingly enough, nothing out of the ordinary so far.

Oh fuck, Klaus started talking-

"Klaus!" Five bites. "Junkies are to be seen and not heard! If you mess this up-!"

What? That never hap- His brother punches him. Oh... Wait-

His siblings start laughing, even more so when the guy calls him crazy and Klaus says he has no idea and shows him as much by crashing a 'peace on earth' snow globe into his own head. Five doesn't laugh, because he's not a buffoon.... Even he has to admit that he's missed Klaus.

"Is this what he does on missions?" Vanya says between laughs, before dissolving back into giggles at Klaus wrestling the phone away from him and calling security. 

"Depends on the situation." Luther says, him and Diego being the only other people trying to keep their heads. They're both coming close to failing though. He lifts his hand to gesture at the screen. "That only comes in handy on specific occasions. Besides, rumors are a lot less messy."

"And a lot less fun!" Klaus protests. 

"I heard a rumor you hit yourself." He does. "Now that's what I call fun."

Shit, Five actually does see both points. As easily his entire ploy could fall apart with factors like witnesses from the transparent walls, or security cameras, watching his brother blackmail this man over injuries he didn't cause is incredibly enjoyable. 

"I heard a rumor you punched yourself again." Allison says, although she's still seems to be in a good mood from that whole scene. 

"What was that for?"

She rolled her eyes. "A rape joke."

**"Jesus, you are a real sick bastard." "Thank you."**

Did he have glass in his mouth the entire time? Eh, he can handle it.

So that's enough to make Grant give them what he wants. He clearly cowers at Klaus's prescence, which is understandable but still quite odd to see done over their second most harmless sibling.

"When he does stuff like this, does it always lead to his victims being so... intimidated."

"Yes, and it's unnerving every time."

Unbelievably though, it was all useless. The eye wasn't even manufactured yet. So that meant absolutely nothing. Not that Klaus cares anything about that. Like Vanya, it's in one ear and out the other, and this time he wants money. Money he'll probably use to get high, and therefore be of no use at best and at outright hindrance at worst.

"You are headache and a half." Diego glares. 

"A headache and a half that was promised some mo-ney. And I wore Dad's disgusting clothes for that ca-ching! Because apparently my taste in fashion wasn't good enough for you snobs!" 

"Make it stop!" Five brings his fingers up to rub his temples. "Everytime you talk I just get this incessant buzzing in my head and it's slowly driving me insane."

"Well too late for that."

"Are you talking about our brother's horniness?" Allison says dryly.

"Are you saying it's inherently wrong to think about a brother's horniness? Klaus shoots back.

She splutters for a moment before catching her words. "A-are you saying....? I heard a rumor you punched yourself!"

He does it again. "Oh come on!"

His onscreen self manages to get through this conversation by talking about his darling. Oh, Dolores. She's safe and sound back at that lady's home, but how he wishes he could have brought her here. At least to make this all less torturous. And his future self manages to gets out of there, much in the same way Five wishes he could right now.

"Dolores? Huh?"

"Don't speak of her." He says softly. "Her name is unworthy of your mouths." Five doesn't even mean it maliciously, it's just a fact.

So he finally gets around to asking her out. Of course, if he's in his fifties and they're together for thirty years than it means there's another decade before he finally gets the courage. Maybe this show will give him the boost he needs to finally make it official. Here's hoping.

Vanya's violin playing is as beautiful as ever, but it's interrupted by loud knocking. The perpetrator turns out to be an overgrown student that Vanya has an appointment with.

"Who is this? I don't like him. Stop talking to him. Never talk to him again. I don't want to see this guy ever again."

"Really, Diego?" Ben rolls his eyes. "You just met him."

"I don't trust him! He's got one of those faces that mean bad news. And he's just showing up at our sister's door? Isn't that a little suspicious?"

"She's a teacher."

"Or is she?"

"They're talking about her other students."

"Or. Are. They?"

Even though Diego is clearly crazy, Five has to admit that being included and focused on at all -and not for a stupid gag like Klaus's existence- probably means that he has some relevance to the plot. But he doesn't say that, not wanting enable Number Two in any way, shape, or form.

Okay, the man doesn't need to flirt with his sister. Five winces at his attempt to play and is relieved to see the scene change.

Now it's in a gym, where all the patrons greet Diego. No one even mentions that ridiculous outfit or anything. He catches an obvious clue to Luther, or at least someone, being there, even without the brains to gather that he's been enhanced without reason. He sends a warning.

"You could've killed me!" Luther protests.

"If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead." It looks like they're about to dissolve into another fight when it becomes apparent that neither grows a brain cell in their future, seemingly surprising them both into keeping their traps shut. 

It's revealed that Diego was busy when Dad died, which he didn't clarify out of pride. Fair enough, or at least it would be if it wasn't distracting from the end of the world. But Luther actually agrees and feels bad, which is a first. 

**"Now you have a nice day.... Brother."**

Ugh, this guy again? 

Stop. Flirting. 

"Can this guy go away?" Klaus complains. 

"Thank you, Klaus." Diego reaches across to fist bump him.

Five glances at Vanya, who seems entranced by his story about violins and dads or some shit. There's an awe in her eyes that has him clenching his jaw. This is probably more than their siblings talk to her on a normal day, and that must sting. Five is protective, he can admit that. After all, his family is made up of imbeciles and every one of them got killed. So yeah, this fucking weirdo is not someone he wants near his little sister.... But he guesses if he makes her happy. Ugh.

Oh thank god, he's leaving. But not before telling her his career. If Five were an idiot he'd hope that 'next week' meant they wouldn't be seeing him until this was over.

"Allison, you smoke!" Luther says aghast. He glares at the boy sitting next to her. "Klaus!"

"It's just nicotine. There is a world of worse shit out there. Like Xanax, or oxytocin, or methamphetamine, or morphine, or nitrous oxide-"

"It's not enough that you have to ruin your own body, now you have to ruin Allison's?"

"Yes, Luther, I know how much you think about ruining Allison's body." 

Luther gasps, Diego chokes, Vanya turns red, and Ben visibly holds in a laugh. 

"Klaus!" Allison yells. "I heard a rumor you hit yourself."

He hits himself. "Aw, brother." 

Is Five the only sane person in this entire family? God, he wishes Dolores were here to make this suffering more bearable.

Pogo and Allison talk, with her future self also showing regret for what she said. 

**"Doubt it. She doesn't know anything about me, which is fine 'cause I don't know shit about her either."**

Vanya glances at Allison, but the latter doesn't look up from her lap. Her future self asked how he managed to live thirteen years in such a big and lonely house. Five can't help but feel that it's nothing against his experiences. Especially in the show, where he had forty plus years of that hell.

Pogo shows her his coping method, which is the security footage of them. Five hides a smile at the sound of laughter, even as Allison fairly points out that it's probably not a good thing. But she still finds joy in it though. She even looks up to smile at Ben when her future self mentions how much he's missed. 

And then it goes to Vanya.

 **"Why didn't we include her?** /p>

Allison looks contemplative for a moment before she says, "Five, you read her book, right?"

"I'd say it perfectly incapsulated how you treated her. There were some harsh truths here and there, and even some assumptions, but overall well written and far from unforgivable." He rests a hand on her shoulder for extra comfort, even as Diego scoffs.

"I'm still upset about it." He says plainly.

"You get upset over everything!" Allison points out. She and Vanya looks at each other. "You know he's unstable right?" Vanya nods hesitantly. "Good.... If it bothers you that much, we could do something.... After we stop the end of the world."

Vanya opens her mouth but no words come out, so she just flushes and gives a nod before looking away. 

Pogo leaves Allison to look at other tapes, after messing around with some of them she finally chooses one left laying out completely and utterly inconspicuously. Her face turns to horror. **"Dad."**

"What?" Luther asks excited. "What is it?"

They don't know yet though because it cuts to him. Oh god.... Dolores' home before it all happened. Will she even recognize him? Of course not, the timeline doesn't add up. He'll be a stranger to her. And she'll be his lost Lenore in a world so against him already.

By his smile, he knows that he's found her. And there she is. Dolores. Looking as beautiful as a summer's rose. She's cleaner than she ever was in the wasteland of the apocalypse. Brighter, happier, free of the trauma that haunted them both. Five will move heaven and earth to ensure she stays that way.

"What?" Vanya whispers. 

She remembers him. Their love must be so strong that meeting him once again unlocks memories she has not yet lived. Five normally wouldn't believe in such a thing, but he believes in her. 

"Oh my god." Ben breathes out.

"Oh." He looks at his siblings. "Meet Dolores. My.... I guess my future wife."

"Uh.... Five?" Luther says.

Whatever his brother wants, it's interrupted by a song that Five finds vaguely familiar and those two assassins putting on their masks and taking out their guns.

"DOLORES!!!" 

Is she okay? Oh fuck, is she okay? **"Shit, it's them!"** Who. The hell. Is them?

Five manages to get her to safety, but has to leave her in order to through those sorry suckers off their trail. They plan against him but Five gets the upperhand over them, all the while that song plays incessantly. He gets his darling back just in time for his powers to fail him yet again. It looks like they catch him when sirens appear and distract him. Thankfully him and his love hide as those monsters assume he left. Sloppy idiots. But thank god, she's okay. 

"Please start making out with it! Please start making out with it!" Klaus shouts.

"Who are you calling an 'it'?" Five snarls, heart pounding in his chest. 

Klaus's eyes widen and he holds up his hands. "Who said it? I didn't say it. Did you say it?"

"What just happened!?" Allison shouts. 

Anyways, Diego's girlfriend finds the body of the poor bloke who crossed the wrong paths before getting word about the shooting. Diego hears about it too, though certainly through vigilante methods.

"Wait, Five what just happened?"

"What's so hard to comprehend? I reunited with my partner, I still don't know who those two are, and I narrowly escaped death. I feel like we should all be on the same page. Moving on."

"But-"

"Moving on!"

Luther talks about how much he regrets blaming Diego when Allison cuts him off. Before she can show him what she saw, Five comes in and their attention turns to him.

"Are you okay? Can we help?" "There's nothing you can do. There's nothing any of you can do."

And- No no no no no no. Not again. Not- Not again. The eyeball, bloody in Luther's hand, he grabs it before looking and seeing his brother, dead under that rubble. He hadn't able to move that bolder, and so the body never got buried. Allison lets out a tiny scream at the sight.

"Five?" Diego asks, voice filled with horror. "What the hell, man?" 

His past self stands to look around, finding Allison and Diego laying not far apart. The others are freaking out now. He thinks Vanya's crying and- and- He hadn't realized it then. Or he didn't want to realize it. Not until he found- 

Klaus. His head using a brick like a pillow. Even in- in death... God he's not crying. He refuses. Even as his siblings scream at what's being shown. It pans down to his tattoo, the thing that finally slapped him in the face that this was real and this was his reality now.

**"And they could never, ever tear us apart."**

"Five? Five!" Allison looks at him in concern. Five blinks rapidly and forces his expression into neutrality.

"I am sorry you had to see that." He chokes out. "That must be upsetting." Obviously. Next to him, Vanya is full on sobbing. Allison notices and takes her hand, patting it awkwardly, clearly not knowing how to help her. 

"Are you okay?" She asks him.

"Old news, the only thing we can do about this is prevent it. Which we will by continuing to watch this. Got it?" He says sharply.

"Why didn't you tell us!" Luther demands.

"Luther." Allison hisses.

"I didn't know they would show you that." Five says as calmly as possible. "But since we are dealing with the apocalypse I'd think casualties were obvious. But it doesn't matter. We'll stop this and none of it will matter anymore. Okay?"  
"But-!"

"Okay!?"

"Okay!" Allison says and then looks at Luther. As though she rumored him without a word, Luther sighs and says, "Okay."

Five nods. Okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if a few years is enough to make Five.... Like that in terms of Dolores, but he was traumatized. He put all his sanity into surviving.


End file.
